OH MY GOD, YOU CANNOT GO BOWLING, Tahani texted in all caps to this poor, hapless person. NOTHING SAYS 'I'M A MALADJUSTED, CHEAP, HOMESCHOOLED PERSON WHO ENJOYS FOOT FUNGUS' LIKE A DATE TO THE BOWLING ALLEY. NO. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Yeah, so Navaan had class today, but she wasn't actually following any of the rules, just spinning the wheel and making phone calls. And sometimes not even bothering to spin the wheel.
"The wheel told me to text my crush something flirty and I don't know you but I'm texting you anyway but with my mouth. And I can do lots better things with my mouth, so you should call me back so I can show you! What?! That's flirty!"
Luckily for Navaan, she'd just been in the middle of sending a pic to someone else, so she just flipped over to the text. Nope! Don't know ur name but u r @ the movies & hot
And Ulysses was very aware of everything it said about him that he still found himself considering it. Wouldn't have been the first time he did something as stupid.
Annnd Uly was just going to stare at that last message some more.
God, curiosity was going to get the best of him at some point, wasn't it? On the pics side, not... not on the 'meet up with even more of a stranger than usual and get axe murdered' side.
It was. And thank you, Navaan, for also reminding Uly he remained pretty good at appreciating a more feminine body despite what his latest string of hookups would tell you.
Well my roommate is angry and boring so there's ur place or we could get a hotel room or break into 1 of the other apartments to fuck. I had 1 I liked but a dwarf lives there now :(<>
It probably wouldn't! Unless he had a weak heart or was willing to keep going until he just died but other than those two possibilities, he'd probably survive! and they might (might) just learn the other person's name, who knew?
Well, finally! Navaan knew he would come around eventually. If someone went too long without orgasming, their balls would explode.
"HA! I knew you wanted to fuck! Finally tired of celibacy are you? And wait, did you say you wanted to fuck on a grave? Yeah, I could be into it. Call me. And heyyyy if your schedule is open, guess what! So are my legs!"
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Phone Day!
...which was supposed to Eleanor, but....well...
how u doin'? wanna go do something? I got some shrimp chips that'll help make it worth your while ;) ;) ;)
And he did NOT regret those winky faces one bit.
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you can sit alone on the roof and freeze, you're not going NEAR my hair.
Wacky Phones 2021
Do I need to be worried about WHY you want to do drunk makeovers? Or are you going to tell me once we're drunk?
Either way, *I* will bring vodka. You bring make-up. I don't own any.
Text Message on 4/20/22
You're welcome, Uly, for any hilarity your answer may cause.
Re: Text Message on 4/20/22
Yeah, sorry, Ulysses was definitely too high to have a helpful answer for this.
Re: Text Message on 4/20/22
you're the worst. remember to hydrate.
Illy loves you, Ulysses. Really.
Happy Phone Day!
OH MY GOD, YOU CANNOT GO BOWLING, Tahani texted in all caps to this poor, hapless person. NOTHING SAYS 'I'M A MALADJUSTED, CHEAP, HOMESCHOOLED PERSON WHO ENJOYS FOOT FUNGUS' LIKE A DATE TO THE BOWLING ALLEY. NO. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Wacky Phone Day
Fuckin hell did I text you nudes?? I didn’t think I got that fucking drunk jesus I’m sorry.
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Attached was a picture of the spread.
Never say she doesn't love you, Uly.
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goddammit
What a succinct way to say he was bummed he'd missed it.
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"The wheel told me to text my crush something flirty and I don't know you but I'm texting you anyway but with my mouth. And I can do lots better things with my mouth, so you should call me back so I can show you! What?! That's flirty!"
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Then finally texted (yes, texted) back, wrong nmbr?
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Luckily for Navaan, she'd just been in the middle of sending a pic to someone else, so she just flipped over to the text. Nope! Don't know ur name but u r @ the movies & hot
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He had not the faintest idea who he was texting, no, so that seemed like the safest option.
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You could figure out who she was then! A system that made perfect sense and in no way seemed like a setup for an Unsolved Mysteries case!
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But.
think i'm gonna have to pass this time
His dick hated him for it.
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And then, a moment later, Keep my number if u change your mind! Or if you want naked pics! Bye again!
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God, curiosity was going to get the best of him at some point, wasn't it? On the pics side, not... not on the 'meet up with even more of a stranger than usual and get axe murdered' side.
Obviously.
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But yes. Eventually it would. It was just a waiting game now.
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But it would probably have helped him control his curiosity better. Since eventually, the following day, he texted, what kinda pics?
You know, just casually.
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But you know what they said about pictures...
On the plus side, now Uly was aware she had truly excellent tits. This was important knowledge!
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wow, he texted back. and i mean that sincerely
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Honestly, knowing Navaan, who could say that wasn't true?
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Yes, he sent that, and then looked at it, and shook his head.
In his defense, he was still pretty sure he was dealing with a weird catfish situation. It did not make for great sexting.
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Right? I miss the week when everybody was fun now they're all back to being boring.
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Wait, what island events would lead to that? In this context?
oh you mean pollen? yeah guess that's a pretty good time
Sometimes? Mostly that one time he'd had some terrifying but absolutely great sex with Margo of all people.
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some ppl just need more than just the 1
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how do i know this isn't just a ruse to lure me to my death?
Because asking would surely only yield truthful answers even from an axe murderer!
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Use your head, Uly! ...Whichever one was gonna get her laid, specifically.
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Was it, Uly? Was it really?
sooo you wanna meet up somewhere or...?
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Well my roommate is angry and boring so there's ur place or we could get a hotel room or break into 1 of the other apartments to fuck. I had 1 I liked but a dwarf lives there now :(<>
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At least they'd probably find his body there pretty quickly if this was a huge miscalculation on his part?
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Ok!
And then about twenty minutes later: Room [whatever the numbering scheme is]
And yes, it was accompanied by yet another topless pic, this one clearly in a hotel room!
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Here's hoping it resulted in something fun for him, and not his untimely demise!
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Wacky Phone Day!
"HA! I knew you wanted to fuck! Finally tired of celibacy are you? And wait, did you say you wanted to fuck on a grave? Yeah, I could be into it. Call me. And heyyyy if your schedule is open, guess what! So are my legs!"
[Second link is to an NSFW comic.]
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And Illy want her Uly.you around?
i am not doing so great.